I was talking to one of my buddies a few weeks ago and realized I really wasn’t fully over my alcohol issues from the past.
It was a while since we chatted. Years in fact.
To me, I’m a totally different person now. I am more than the drinking maniac that I was.
But to him, those were the only stories he had of us spending time together. So he told them. And laughed at them.
And on the other hand I got angry and upset. And embarrassed.
“Doesn’t he know I’m different? Doesn’t he know I’m more than that?” – me to me
That conversation stuck with me for a while.
I have spent a lot of time becoming someone new, so I felt comfortable with myself knowing I have moved onto better things.
But I didn’t take into account how I would handle other’s views on my drinking and who I was. Obviously with how upset I got, I was not fully healed from the injuries of my past.
I found that I could laugh at myself when thinking of who I was because I knew I was someone different now, but once someone else brought up the past I couldn’t tell if they knew I was a better person. I became so serious so try to prove that I am different. When they didn’t realize that, I got upset.
Over the next few weeks, I worked on it. I talked to more people about my drinking openly and my past. I eventually got to a point where I could laugh with others about who I was.
Long story short, I realized two things:
- Despite how much I change and can feel that change, others might not recognize it. That’s why it’s important to view my own opinion and thoughts with upmost priority. No one else has the full picture so their viewpoint will always be skewed.
- I can’t really claim I’m over something until I can laugh about it.
Have a great day,
Eddie
Potential 