Are you scared?

One way I can tell if I’m really growing is if I feel scared about what I’m telling myself I will achieve.

Right now, I have financial and career goals that scare me.

I’m not scared because I’m incapable or I’m not confident in my abilities. I know I can do the things I’ve set out for myself.

I’m scared because I know it’s going to require change on my end. My routines, my opinions and viewpoints that have got me here are going to have to change or I’m going to have to get rid of them.

I’m still scared to put myself out there and promote myself because I have a feeling of “who am I?”

I’m still scared to bring up the hard facts about the business I operate in or what my limitations as a man are. Confronting those can lead to conflict and I naturally don’t enjoy conflict (though I handle internal conflict much better than external).

I’m scared because I know I can’t just sit back and let life happen to me if I want to hit these goals.

It’s going to require a lot of uncomfortable situations. Public speaking, public promotion, staying up later than I would like, failing over and over again – so much so that I’ll lose sight of the fact that failing is actually good. When you’re in a business setting, you don’t want to let people down. Your choices impact more than just you, so every failure hits hard despite how much you tell yourself it’s needed for success.

The difference now is I used to be crushed by this fear. I would let it stop me. I would go back and conform into my little sphere of influence and stay in my lane. The lane that I formed for myself, the lane that my family knows me by, the lane that society knows me by.

I used to let the fear of change outweigh the fear of not changing – now, it’s flipped.

To reach new levels you have to do things you’ve never done before. The scary part is you don’t really know at the time where that path will lead. It’s an ambiguous stage where you your identity will be under attack and everything that’s gotten you to where you are today might change. And that makes me (naturally) uncomfortable.

Over time, I have learned to change the narrative in my head from “I am scared” to “I am growing.” I feel good about sitting in that space of ambiguity and uncertainty. I know I’m on the right path when I feel this way. If not, I reassess and challenge myself.

This might take an hour, this might take weeks.

When an opportunity presents itself and it scares the shit out of you, just jump in.

It will be devastating I promise you that, but you’ll end up stronger. You (talking to myself here) need to build that muscle and strengthen it over time.

So, what are you doing today that scares the shit out of you?

Be ok with looking like an idiot. Those are the people who are going to go the furthest, despite how much other’s laugh or joke about them.